I used to be a FIRM believer in “if they wanted to, they will” but then I sat down and realized that life and it’s series of unfortunate events can step in and prevent people from doing all that they can do with/for/to you.
Sometimes people want to but can’t. Sometimes people try and fail. They aren’t less of a person because they fumbled the ball. EVERYONE fails at something in some capacity. We need to give each other more grace (if that grace is deserved and earned).
This was a self-drag. You get so wrapped up in what people aren’t doing that you forget to consider that there could very well be an extremely good reason why something isn’t getting done. Feel like you owe the people you love that level of grace … when deserved and earned.
This is an extremely hard lesson to learn. Because it’s one thing for people to be filled with excuses and never showing up for you and it’s another when people genuinely have too much on their plate and can’t give to you. Recognizing the difference is extremely hard.
And I need to do a better job at giving myself and the people I love grace because baby, we’re are literally trying our best with what little we have. We shouldn’t be punished for that. We actually need to lean on each other more now instead of just walking away from each other.
And I’m such a hypocrite because I almost demand people to understand me when I can’t show up for them but I don’t extend that same level of understanding when people can’t show up for me. I have to do and be better in that regard. The people I love deserve better from me.
I want to emphasize that I never said you need to EXCUSE poor behavior. This is simply about making room grace and compassion. You can absolutely understand why folks are behaving poorly while distancing yourself because your needs aren’t being met.
You understanding why someone is acting an ass towards you is NOT you excusing the behavior. It’s just you seeing them as a flawed person prone to making mistakes, like we all are. Regardless of what life throws at us, people are still responsible for how they treat others.