You are doing your best. Look at how far you’ve come. Look how strong and resilient you are. No current situation or challenge can hold you down. You are too powerful. Snap out of the overthinking. Remember who you are, why you started, and where you’re headed.
The actual original meaning of competition is, to strive together. Competition doesn’t have to be toxic, striving against each other, that’s a choice. Also, there’s a difference between envy and jealousy - especially important to remember. I can envy you without being jealous.