mark normand Profile Banner
mark normand Profile
mark normand

@marknorm

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Following
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Statuses
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New York Comedienne. New hour special "Out To Lunch" on the Youtubes now!! My pod: "Tuesdays with Stories” or “We Might be Drunk” Link 👇👇 Praise Allah!

NYC
Joined March 2009
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Pinned Tweet
@marknorm
mark normand
a year ago
“Out to Lunch” full special, available right now on the YouTubes folks. Lotta yuks. Tell a pal. Comedy!!
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@marknorm
mark normand
a day ago
I’m waiting to see if I’ll ever be attracted to men too, I’m standing bi
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@marknorm
mark normand
2 days ago
Covid’s starting to feel like HPV - impressive if you never got it but you may also be an nerd
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@marknorm
mark normand
2 days ago
Omicron is a variant & a crypto coin. That makes sense - I don’t understand either, politicians wanna control both & my uncle’s never gonna buy it
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@marknorm
mark normand
3 days ago
Once thanksgiving is over it’s like I’ve put in my 2 weeks notice for the rest of the year
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@marknorm
mark normand
4 days ago
Making your nana do a tiktok video is elderly abuse
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@marknorm
mark normand
4 days ago
I’ve put on a few pounds this weekend, now I’m also mad at Adele
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@marknorm
mark normand
6 days ago
Happy Rachel Dolezal Friday!
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@marknorm
mark normand
6 days ago
You never hear about a tight cannon
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@marknorm
mark normand
6 days ago
Being vegan on thanksgiving is like being sober in Vegas
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@marknorm
mark normand
7 days ago
In thanksgiving tradition I ate and drank too much and destroyed a Cherokee
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@marknorm
mark normand
7 days ago
When you’re around family for a while the bathroom becomes a much needed sanctuary
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@marknorm
mark normand
12 days ago
Rittenhouse is the white OJ
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@marknorm
mark normand
14 days ago
You never hear about a mediocre nova
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@marknorm
mark normand
a month ago
Great news for Trick or treaters!
@Fact
Fact
6 months ago
The acid in your stomach is so powerful that it could dissolve a razor blade.
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@marknorm
mark normand
a month ago
Squid Game is really lacking in diversity
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@marknorm
mark normand
2 months ago
That’s nuts!
@Fact
Fact
2 months ago
Squirrels masturbate to avoid catching STIs.
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mark normand Retweeted
@feelsgupta
whatsgoopta
3 months ago
This is another level savagery 😂 #comedy @marknorm
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@marknorm
mark normand
2 months ago
It’s gotta be tough to only eat fish, swim everyday & still be that big
@Fact
Fact
2 months ago
Whales commit suicide.
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