Fesshole 🧻 Profile Banner
Fesshole 🧻 Profile
Fesshole 🧻

@fesshole

Followers
209,823
Following
544
Media
43
Statuses
14,646

Confess your sins anonymously - will the internet absolve you? 👖 Sponsored by @hebtroco 🩳

Vatican
Joined June 2018
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Pinned Tweet
@fesshole
Fesshole 🧻
a year ago
Best confessions -> Add YOUR confession -> Are all confessions used as tweets? No, it's gingerly moderated by @robmanuel 👖Fesshole is sponsored by @hebtroco. Buy British-made jeans, shirts & hats: 👖
Tweet media one
0
27
116
@fesshole
Fesshole 🧻
53 minutes ago
Back in medieval times when men were men, they would wee sitting down because standing up for a wee leaves you vulnerable to attackers who can surprise you behind. I have no proof of this - it's just the reason I give for not using urinals. I get terrible stage fright.
20
10
178
@fesshole
Fesshole 🧻
an hour ago
My life is so boring now, to mix it up this Friday I turned my work pc off rather than putting it in Power save mode. Christ almighty I need a life.
20
6
320
@fesshole
Fesshole 🧻
2 hours ago
Just swept through the bookshop with my phone camera finding books to order from the library.
31
7
217
@fesshole
Fesshole 🧻
3 hours ago
When I'm alone in the house I like to vape in front of the mirror and walk through the cloud like I'm in Stars in their Eyes.
27
23
510
@fesshole
Fesshole 🧻
4 hours ago
A few years ago I unfortunately ran over and killed the family cat as she was asleep under my car. To this day the family think she was hit by someone else on the road. The truth would really upset my kids.
20
3
166
@fesshole
Fesshole 🧻
5 hours ago
When my stepdad tragically died in a motorcycle accident at the age of 38. My mum asked me to go through his phone to delete his social accounts. Found out he had been having an affair for at least a year. Haven't told a soul.
43
9
948
@fesshole
Fesshole 🧻
6 hours ago
30 years ago I was 19, me and a pal took ecstasy in a club. It was quiet and sat in the loos I knocked over and broke a glass. The sound was ace. We got a load of glasses and kept smashing them, launching them at the wall full force in sheer delight at the noise. I still feel bad
20
6
314
@fesshole
Fesshole 🧻
7 hours ago
With the launch of Metaverse, this reminds me that I was fired once because I spent too long having sex in Second Life whilst pretending to be a man-sized fox. I told my wife it was because of the recession.
37
14
305
@fesshole
Fesshole 🧻
8 hours ago
I have absolutely zero idea what to get my wife for Xmas.
225
17
742
@fesshole
Fesshole 🧻
9 hours ago
Years ago promotion boards were held in the same room. I bought a 'spy' microphone hidden in a plug extension, put it in a socket and sat in a discreet spot outside in the car listening in to the candidates before me. Got all the questions and formulated my answers in advance!
40
4
497
@fesshole
Fesshole 🧻
10 hours ago
I am a secret knitter. My girlfriend is pregnant and I've had to invent an old lady at work who I attribute all the knitted garments to. I've even called her Nora. I fucking love knitting.
199
181
4K
@fesshole
Fesshole 🧻
11 hours ago
I was in the Army for 24 years and the only things I learned was righty righty, lefty loosey when undoing bolts and how to open beer bottles with a belt buckle.
57
12
451
@fesshole
Fesshole 🧻
12 hours ago
I thought my fridge had stopped working as there was a funny smell coming from it. So I threw it out and bought a new one. Turns out it was just the expensive cheese my gf had given me. The cheese stank out my new fridge too.
29
13
297
@fesshole
Fesshole 🧻
13 hours ago
I once masturbated by using a 'never ending grind' cheat whilst playing a popular skateboarding video game, which in turn makes the controller vibrate constantly.
40
7
308
@fesshole
Fesshole 🧻
14 hours ago
I often play a mental game on country roads, where I overtake an imaginary, slow moving vehicle on a blind bend that was delaying me. 9 out of 10 times there is a truck, car or tractor coming the other way. Don't do it for real.
8
12
364
@fesshole
Fesshole 🧻
15 hours ago
I always take my wife's car to pick up fish and chips as I hate the stale smell of fried food and vinegar in my car
22
3
423
@fesshole
Fesshole 🧻
a day ago
Every time I recieve a fine from my local council for some tiny traffic infraction, I exact my revenge by sending them at least 10 random FOI requests. If they want my £60, I'll take up some of their time in exchange.
94
44
1K