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Back in medieval times when men were men, they would wee sitting down because standing up for a wee leaves you vulnerable to attackers who can surprise you behind. I have no proof of this - it's just the reason I give for not using urinals. I get terrible stage fright.
A few years ago I unfortunately ran over and killed the family cat as she was asleep under my car. To this day the family think she was hit by someone else on the road. The truth would really upset my kids.
When my stepdad tragically died in a motorcycle accident at the age of 38. My mum asked me to go through his phone to delete his social accounts. Found out he had been having an affair for at least a year. Haven't told a soul.
30 years ago I was 19, me and a pal took ecstasy in a club. It was quiet and sat in the loos I knocked over and broke a glass. The sound was ace. We got a load of glasses and kept smashing them, launching them at the wall full force in sheer delight at the noise. I still feel bad
With the launch of Metaverse, this reminds me that I was fired once because I spent too long having sex in Second Life whilst pretending to be a man-sized fox. I told my wife it was because of the recession.
Years ago promotion boards were held in the same room. I bought a 'spy' microphone hidden in a plug extension, put it in a socket and sat in a discreet spot outside in the car listening in to the candidates before me. Got all the questions and formulated my answers in advance!
I thought my fridge had stopped working as there was a funny smell coming from it. So I threw it out and bought a new one. Turns out it was just the expensive cheese my gf had given me. The cheese stank out my new fridge too.
I often play a mental game on country roads, where I overtake an imaginary, slow moving vehicle on a blind bend that was delaying me. 9 out of 10 times there is a truck, car or tractor coming the other way. Don't do it for real.
Every time I recieve a fine from my local council for some tiny traffic infraction, I exact my revenge by sending them at least 10 random FOI requests. If they want my £60, I'll take up some of their time in exchange.