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jake Profile
jake

@callmeshitto

Followers
33,846
Following
576
Media
3,792
Statuses
56,776

genius, truck sticker guy, washed up lacrosse player, he/him

Joined April 2013
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@callmeshitto
jake
2 hours ago
pls fix,
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@callmeshitto
jake
3 days ago
time for box training camp for the youths. just 14 hours of how to fight
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@callmeshitto
jake
4 days ago
hail to the chief
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jake Retweeted
@bootleghinata
Hoel Embiid
6 days ago
You think you know somebody….
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jake Retweeted
@Austin_Federa
Austin Federa 🦀🤙
11 days ago
Overheard date in Brooklyn last night Him: "I work on such big data sets I had to get a new computer so Excel could keep up." Her: "If it fits in Excel, it's not a big data set."
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@GrillPillMax
Glass Bead Gamer
6 days ago
Thinking about my freshman roommate in college, a 350 lbs upright bass player from Beijing. Nobody could pronounce his name so he went by Clifford. He was a major alcoholic but the only thing he would drink was mgd steel reserve because they don't sell malt liquor in China
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@callmeshitto
jake
6 days ago
there are 100 artists better than the beatles
@raptvcom
RapTV
7 days ago
Billboard just released their Top 10 Greatest Of All Time Artists: 1. The Beatles 2. Madonna 3. Elton John 4. Elvis Presley 5. Mariah Carey 6. Stevie Wonder 7. Janet Jackson 8. Michael Jackson 9. Whitney Houston 10. Rihanna
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@callmeshitto
jake
7 days ago
it’s clamps or buckets for u on the field my man pick ur poison
@reallycoolreed
RE
7 days ago
@callmeshitto Will this make you run slower if I do it to you during men’s league here in ATL? (Go Roswell Raptors.)
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@callmeshitto
jake
7 days ago
he actually said “love ur tweets man” to which i ask what do u gain from lying to urself and others
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@callmeshitto
jake
7 days ago
happened again last night in atl airport. terribly hard to blend into a crowd with the beard and hair and dumptruck ass i guess
@callmeshitto
jake
3 months ago
to the guy walking down fifth ave in manhattan who said "hey shitto" thank you very much for not murdering me in the street. also hello
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@callmeshitto
jake
9 days ago
stuffing the thanksgiving turkey with green monster cans and cigarettes
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@callmeshitto
jake
11 days ago
about to put on a show at the airport
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@callmeshitto
jake
11 days ago
disgusting to see a professional athlete rock a sock / cleat combo like this
@joekeegs
Joe Keegan
11 days ago
Thoughts on Trent Brown’s sock length, @callmeshitto?
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@callmeshitto
jake
11 days ago
i always like to think i did 30 years of drinking between 17-22, and it certainly felt like it
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@callmeshitto
jake
11 days ago
getting smashed is cool as hell. it just made my life unmanageable and i had to reckon with that many years ago
@futureteenmom
The Law
12 days ago
@callmeshitto i love u but i will still get drunk all the time if that is ok with u friend
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@callmeshitto
jake
12 days ago
i love you man. we don’t say that enough fellas
@nickossello
Nick Ossello
12 days ago
I met (had already met but spent good time with) @callmeshitto recently. Always good to have a friend like him, there was a while there when drinking was very bad for me and I would talk a bit about it with him. He helped a lot. Thanks Jake you are a good friend and helper
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@callmeshitto
jake
12 days ago
this is low key some of the funniest shit ever posted
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