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John Cleese Profile
John Cleese

@JohnCleese

Followers
5,767,024
Following
247
Media
736
Statuses
10,497

Trainee hermit, & keen Amateur Squirrel Trainer

London
Joined December 2007
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@JohnCleese
John Cleese
an hour ago
The Irish have some of the greatest humour on Earth https://t.co/a4z1KEKBr7
@DukeandLeon1
Duke and Leon
7 days ago
@JohnCleese humor is in the eye of the potato
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@JohnCleese
John Cleese
an hour ago
If I tease you WITH AFFECTION, I like you Mean teasing is vile https://t.co/1Ke45Tlt1p
@phenixwryter
Phenix
7 days ago
@JohnCleese True that. If I tease you, I like you.
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@JohnCleese
John Cleese
an hour ago
So very, very touchy, hypersensitive people who are easily upset, have a special right to be treated like weaklings -an endangered species who can't laugh at themselves, and who regard themselves so seriously they can't take a joke If so, I'm glad they're endangered. https://t.co/bp4JnUQHhI
@RobUplinger
RobertRodneyUplinger
7 days ago
@JohnCleese Blokes..! If the butt of the joke isn't amuzed, 'the joke is out of line. Advance work is critical.
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@JohnCleese
John Cleese
an hour ago
Who was Reg Smythe ? Was he the War Correspondent who died of laughter? https://t.co/mAOaBnvfnj
@michaelaxe
Anti Complacency League
7 days ago
@JohnCleese Reg Smythe said all comedy is based on conflict. I haven't seen a better explanation.
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@JohnCleese
John Cleese
an hour ago
@CR0SSHAIRXCIX
IZABO ⌖ EM’S BETROTHED ⌖ 21
7 days ago
@JohnCleese Just another reminder we have of how blessed we are to have you as a person on this earth ❤️
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@JohnCleese
John Cleese
an hour ago
I noticed years ago that pompous people hate to find themselves in any situation where there is a humorous atmosphere Their self-importance cannot survive except in a formal, artificially solemn occasion https://t.co/ekajHEeilu
@Defaultuser04
Defaultuser0
7 days ago
@JohnCleese All humour, including wordplay, is subversive, particularly of societal norms. As such, the more oppressively those norms are imposed, the less tolerance there is of humour.
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@JohnCleese
John Cleese
5 hours ago
Always be the silliest in any group. 😃 #tbt https://t.co/oMJu876Wsz
Tweet media one
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@JohnCleese
John Cleese
a day ago
Boris is a mini-Trump He's survived because the right wing newspapers keep the focus away from him. They want to keep him there, as it's good for business Rather as Fox News does It's all very corrupt and it won't get better under Boris https://t.co/1FCAr0EjIU
@ShelaghFogarty
Shelagh Fogarty 💙
a day ago
Ex-minister Johnny Mercer says ‘almost nobody’ tells truth in Johnson’s government | Politics | The Guardian https://t.co/mt1wPQY9gs
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@JohnCleese
John Cleese
a day ago
Mice Laughing Softly Charlotte. From At Last the 1948 Show. Full sketch: https://t.co/xkusKogRQu https://t.co/SchsuNnSwt
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@JohnCleese
John Cleese
2 days ago
My advice to aspiring sitcom writers. This applies to all creative fields. Once you remove your emotions from something, you can really study how things are put together and begin to create your own masterpiece. If there is something you are meant to do, let nothing stop you. https://t.co/wrX68fdhLF
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@JohnCleese
John Cleese
2 days ago
It's what Cameron left out that's interesting... https://t.co/A1mjjSjLYr
@Mediaguy19
Mediaguy
3 days ago
Great read on #DavidCameron and #MurdochGutterMedia and #Rothermere media in the best British newsoutlet Byline Times. https://t.co/zVHWg64L3J
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@JohnCleese
John Cleese
3 days ago
Is he at the centre of Joe Biden's inner circle ? I thought they were all well qualified Unlike Ivanka... https://t.co/U1XeZ1SP26
@ZeroSixThree
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri
3 days ago
@JohnCleese Now do one on Hunter
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@JohnCleese
John Cleese
3 days ago
Houston airport https://t.co/MO6y42yhzi
@bass_n_bass
Chris Holton
3 days ago
@JohnCleese teatime in the UK or Brunei, Dubai, or Sri Lanka? I need to know when to pause for a lingering moment of sadness before carrying on.
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@JohnCleese
John Cleese
3 days ago
So now's the time Serene Ivanka To pack your things and to weigh anchor, To Brunei, Dubai, or Sri Lanka... To find another Sugar Daddy, But this time, please, not such a Baddie John Cleese 1939-2021 ( assassinated by teatime )
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@JohnCleese
John Cleese
3 days ago
Ode to Ambition So you have disappeared, Ivanka, With that vapid Jared wanker, Whose botoxed look is even blanker Than your own, Serene Ivanka But there's a problem now, Ivanka Your father doesn't have a banker, So you may soon begin to hanker For a Dad who's a top ranker
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@JohnCleese
John Cleese
3 days ago
The Rival Newsreaders sketch from the series Sez Les. https://t.co/JxxDFuKa1x
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@JohnCleese
John Cleese
4 days ago
A very happy birthday to this funny, young man @ConanOBrien Our most recent chat for you to enjoy was on his Podcast Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend a few months back. https://t.co/L8ZLXo94Yv https://t.co/1XIGzM2uc8
Tweet media one
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@JohnCleese
John Cleese
4 days ago
More information please https://t.co/aTMNH4iFX1
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John Cleese Retweeted
@DouglasKMurray
Douglas Murray
6 days ago
When the 'executive editor' of conspiracy theory website 'Byline Times' lied about me he had to pay thousands of pounds in costs and compensation + publish an apology. I hope everybody else defamed by his garbage site takes similar action.
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