All I'm saying is Alderaan COULD have spontaneously combusted. You don't know, you weren't there.

Too devastated by the news that the Left are cancelling Dr. Seuss and Mr. Potato Head to even THINK about opening an investigation into who or what destroyed Alderaan.

What is Greedo being shot first, if not Han persevering?

Okay, we are all for convoluted evil schemes but this one crossed a line. https://t.co/E3FPW5opZo

"BRB to help fight Order 66, I just have to drop my future Padawan off on Tatooine first." *emerges from desert cave 20 years later like* https://t.co/XqEPJ7JbI1

"With the Rebellion cancelled for the week, my son asked to take a trip with friends to Bespin. Wanting to be a good dad, I flew down last night because he needed a hand, and am flying back this afternoon." https://t.co/nW6E2gqNAR

As everyone knows, you can only arrest a Sith Lord at the EXACT second he takes over the galaxy, not a moment before or after. Anakin had no choice but to cut off Mace Windu's hands because he was fractionally late to make his arrest. That's the law.

Palpatine didn't give the order to wipe out all of the Jedi. Okay, he did but he was being metaphorical. Okay, he wasn't but he was just joking. Okay, he wasn't joking but not ALL of the Jedi were wiped out anyway, so it doesn't count. It's time to heal and move on.

It is unconstitutional to throw an Emperor down a reactor shaft when he is in power. It is also unconstitutional to throw an Emperor down a reactor shaft when he is no longer in power. (Please do not throw the Emperor down a reactor shaft, it makes us sad. 😢)

Two minutes after Emperor Palpatine ordered the clones to wipe out the Jedi: "These were words of the past, and these things do not represent me."

Sad to see Princess Leia generate fake outrage about the explosion of her entire planet for political gain. Next on 'Talking Sith', the galaxy's number 1 talk show, we chat to the Emperor of the known universe about how Imperial views are being silenced.

The Rebels SAY they want unity but then won't take equal responsibility for us blowing up Alderaan. Hmmm.... 🤔🤔🤔

How serious is Princess Leia about bipartisanship? We’re about to find out. She wants the Empire to stop destroying planets. We're offering to blow more of them up, more often. Will the princess meet with Grand Moff Tarkin to discuss our ideas?

He took her hostage and blew up her entire planet to send a message, she wants galactic democracy and thinks planet-destroying lasers are bad. Can’t the right and left just get along?! https://t.co/d8LMIZw2Oe

We STRONGLY CONDEMN the Rebellion for being IMPOLITE and using MEAN WORDS to describe our destruction of Alderaan. Their words, but not our actions, MUST have consequences.

Alderaan? It's time to Aldermoveon.

There's no need to investigate or arrest anyone for blowing up Alderaan because we have probably learned our lesson and, anyway, Alderaan was like two whole weeks ago, so get over it already.